Tay's Web Diary

星期六, 4月 01, 2006

Fun --- Cantonese is difficult to learn!?

正宗潮州菜...
客人:"伙計, 有咩好介紹呀?!"
伙計:〝食老鼠拼盤啦,有老鼠蛋、老鼠腸、老鼠豬耳,但冇老鼠鵝〞(滷水拼盤)

深圳麥當勞 ...
港客:〝唔該一個豬柳漢堡。"
店員:〝要蛋呀。〞
港客:〝唔要蛋喇唔該!〞
店員好勞氣:〝你要蛋喎!〞
港客開始?憎:〝我唔要蛋喇,我淨係要豬柳漢堡咋!〞
店員更加勞氣:〝要蛋一蛋呀,要蛋十分鐘呀......〞

入境處...
遊客:"要睇新款證定畜牲證呀?"
(身份證定出生證?)

巴士站...
遊客:〝Sen山唔該,請問你有冇生痔瘡呀?(有冇散紙唱)

街道上...
遊客 : [請問侏儒村係邊?] (G2000)

數碼通...
遊客 : [呢個管睇到雷電嗎? ]
售貨員 : [唔會, 好安全架...]
遊客 : [無雷電顯示功能嗎?!] (來電顯示)
售貨員 :[手機唔駛用避雷針的~]
遊客 :[咁我部手機可唔可以出煙先? ] (trade in)

豐澤電器...
A遊客:〝請問呢部電視機有冇電視框呀?〞(Discount)
售貨員:〝當然有啦。〞
A遊客:〝咁電視框幾多錢呀?"
售貨員:"唔好意思要成架買,冇得要個電視框架〞
B 遊客:"請問忍忍支係ben?另外呢度有冇死守間?〞﹝影印機、洗手間﹞


髮型屋...
髮型師:[小姐想點剪呀?]
小姐:[師父,同我剪得多神似D !]
髮型師:[己經好神似嫁喇喎?!]
小姐:[唔係神似,係要有神似! !] (要有層次)
髮型師:[小姐想做D咩顏色呀?]
小姐:[我想做好似森林咁0既色! ] (深藍色 )
髮型師:[森林?? ]
小姐:[係呀~~]

桑拿入面...
骨妹 :[Sen 山, 你蝕唔蝕飯?]
(先生你食唔食飯)
男客人:[??.......]
骨妹 :[sen 山, 射個精嗎?] (先生, 寫個drink嗎?)
男客人:[err.......] (面都紅哂)
骨妹 :[ sen山, 要唔要做雀仔按摩呀?按完仲可以除...]
(腳低按摩......鎚......)

Start from 2006 ...

info / Apps --- IE can't show page (blank page) that is already download

A Stupid thing that IE does, can't show the page caused inappropriate encoding you choose! Huh... I can't imagine, can you? If the page is running UTF-8, but you choose the encoding is BIG-5, the page will not shown as blank without any error message.
Howcome!? Try to choose the correct encoding, by View > encoding > (encoding), better use FireFox
Start from 2006 ...

Info / Apps / Sec. --- Windows Defender was unable to complete the update 0x8024002b

In my experience, the problem is caused by the SUS registry key.
You should remove SUS registry (Take your own risk) by remove following key "HKEY_LOCAL_MACHINE\Software\Policies\Microsoft\Windows\WindowsUpdate" and run WindowsUpdate manaully, then your defender will keep up-to-date.
Ensure your WindowsUpdate is enable and scheduled to run
Start from 2006 ...